{"product_id":"dead-batteries™","title":"Dead Batteries™","description":"\u003ch1\u003eDead Batteries™\u003c\/h1\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e4 Flat AA Batteries Guaranteed To Let You Down\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSome gifts create joy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis is not one of them.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDead Batteries™ is the ultimate useless gift — a premium pack of four completely flat AA batteries professionally packaged for maximum disappointment.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNeed batteries for your remote?\u003cbr\u003eToo bad.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eKid’s toy on Christmas morning?\u003cbr\u003eNot happening.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eEmergency flashlight during a blackout?\u003cbr\u003eGood luck.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eEach battery is carefully selected for its remarkable inability to power absolutely anything. No charge. No purpose. No hope.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePerfect for:\u003cbr\u003e• Secret Santa disasters\u003cbr\u003e• Terrible birthday presents\u003cbr\u003e• Passive aggressive gifting\u003cbr\u003e• Tradie prank packs\u003cbr\u003e• People who say “you didn’t need to get me anything”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFeatures:\u003cbr\u003e✔ 4 genuinely dead AA batteries\u003cbr\u003e✔ Professionally packaged disappointment\u003cbr\u003e✔ Looks useful at first glance\u003cbr\u003e✔ Delivers immediate regret\u003cbr\u003e✔ Guaranteed emotional damage\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIncludes:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e4x powerless AA batteries\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e0 volts of excitement\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eUnlimited frustration\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWhether you’re ruining someone’s day or becoming the undisputed champion of terrible gifts, Dead Batteries™ delivers failure straight out of the packet.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNo power.\u003cbr\u003eNo performance.\u003cbr\u003eNo refunds.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHandle with low expectations.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Ungiftables","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":42420447117387,"sku":"DB-001","price":7.95,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0669\/6563\/5147\/files\/8037b97e-bd92-4c4a-a381-82231d83dbe9.png?v=1778819162","url":"https:\/\/ungiftables.com\/products\/dead-batteries%e2%84%a2","provider":"Ungiftables","version":"1.0","type":"link"}